Balance in the K-drama Relationship

No, today's post isn't going to be me getting onto my soapbox again about how much I love strong female leads. Well, okay, it sort of is, but it's not only about that. 

When I first started watching K-dramas, I was so swept up in the magic of these extended romances that I didn't pay much attention to the power imbalance that is so pervasive in the K-drama world. People were being romantic, and as long as the women weren't total puppies, I was okay. Now that I have much more expansive experience with dramas, I have more room to recognize the best of the best K-drama relationships for what they are.

So what makes a power relationship? It's not just the romance. I have seen plenty of dramas filled with grand romantic gestures where I, as a viewer, was left wondering why these two even wanted to get together in the first place (Heirs, anyone?). While I love a swoony chaebol romance as much as the next person, I have to admit that some of the most powerful K-drama relationships focus less on the gigantic romantic hurdles between the couple and more on their non-romantic time together. Without a foundation for the relationship, what happens once the in-laws get out of the way or they recover from amnesia? Could they enjoy watching TV or grocery shopping together without all of the K-drama drama? 

To me, the best K-drama relationships involve an equal amount of give and take. This is why puppylike female leads drive me insane. Real relationships don't just involve one person hanging on until the other person gives in at the end of the series. Instead, we need enough time to believe that both characters are wholeheartedly invested in the relationship. For the record, this was my biggest beef with You're Beautiful. I wasn't ever fully convinced that he cared about her nearly as much as she cared for him.

Sometimes, I'm conflicted over K-drama chaebols who relentlessly pursue the women they desire. On the one hand, the feminist in me rages when I see an entitled man dragging a helpless woman around until she finally succumbs to him. On the other hand, when you set up a dynamic where the man is wealthy, charismatic, and powerful, while the woman is poor, unattractive (according to the show), and socially awkward, having the man develop feelings first is a way to offer some power to the female character. The ball is finally in her court, and it's ultimately her decision if she wants to proceed. It balances the relationship.

When a show's writers recognize that both characters can contribute equally to a relationship, it allows for a natural friendship between the characters that serves as a basis for their love. Some of my absolute favorite scenes in romantic dramas involve the two leads spending time together and becoming friends before a romance blossoms. If you aren't even friends with someone, why on earth should we believe that you're willing to give up your family company or your first love or one of your kidneys for that person?

Where does one find such balanced friendships? Here are a few of the more equal relationships in K-drama land:

1. History of a Salaryman

This is a prime example of how a focus away from romantic hurdles can actually build a stronger K-drama relationship. The main couple never kissed. THEY NEVER KISSED. And yet, when I think about the best relationships in dramaland, the relationship between Yoo Bang and Baek Yeo Chi was refreshingly balanced. What made this couple so fantastic is that, while they grew as people, they never stopped being themselves. We didn't get a Prime Minister and I scenario where the two leads started out with personalities that gradually deflated into tame, generic pleasantries by the end of the show. Instead, we got two very flawed characters who accepted and enjoyed each other for who they were. This couple didn't need to cry over each other with solitary tears because it didn't match their personalities. Instead, Baek Yeo Chi was swearing her face off until the very end of the show, and Yoo Bang was boisterous as ever. That's the kind of relationship you believe will last until they're old and grey. I'm only partway through My Love from Another Star, but it seems like it may be a similar dynamic with a female lead who doesn't lose her sass to love.

2. Sungkyunkwan Scandal

There's something about a gender bender that invites a balanced relationship. When you take physical appearance out of the equation, the male lead has no choice but to respect the female lead as a person if he's going to fall in love. Sungkyunkwan Scandal allows its female lead to act as the core of her male group, demonstrating her value in the relationship before the relationship even begins. Even the romantic parts blossom from their shared interests, like the love notes hidden in library books.

3. Coffee Prince

Coffee Prince was my very first K-drama, and when I initially watched it, I was constantly uneasy that the relationship would turn into a puppy-master disaster. After all, Han Kyul is clearly the one in control as the wealthy, handsome playboy who also happens to be Eun Chan's boss, and Eun Chan is pretty open about her feelings from the beginning of the series. I have to admit that Eun Chan's enthusiasm sometimes bordered on being puppylike for me (I know that Coco disagrees), but what ultimately saves this relationship is the deep friendship that precedes and underlies the entire romance. Han Kyul and Eun Chan are completely comfortable around each other, both as friends and later as lovers.

4. King 2 Hearts

The chemistry between the leads wasn't the best I have ever seen, but what I appreciated in this drama was the recognition of strengths and weaknesses on both sides. Kim Hang Ah can fend for herself and then some, which means that she has plenty to contribute to a relationship with a king. Because they first meet as colleagues in training, there are quite a few moments throughout the drama where these two enjoy their time together.

5. Protect the Boss

Both of these characters are quirky and odd. What makes them work so well is that they bring out the best in each other. Alone, they're both a bit lost. Together, they're much better than the sum of their parts. This is one example where the male character fell first, but it didn't turn into a feminist nightmare. Instead, the female lead gave him (and viewers) a lesson on sexual harassment and focused on building a lasting connection before even considering the possibility of love.

So far, You Are All Surrounded is giving me hope that it might be a drama with a strong central friendship. Sure, Dae Gu is still in the mean phase of the relationship, but both characters have strengths and weaknesses that complement each other well, and working together is generally a good premise for building deep friendships. Fingers crossed that it uses the potential well!

Maybe you've noticed that this list is short. You know what that means? It means that I want suggestions for balanced K-drama relationships. Anyone have favorites? (And if you say Boys over Flowers or Heirs, I will disregard your opinion forever. Don't take it personally, okay?)

History of a Salaryman Korean Drama Review

Source

I'm just going to get this out there from the very beginning: the main couple in History of a Salaryman never kisses--not even once.  If you can handle that and want to know why you should probably watch this show anyway, keep reading.  If you can't handle it, feel free to stop reading and browse facebook now.  If you're angry at me for spoiling it, I apologize.  I felt like you had a right to know!

The Plot

Okay, so the main couple never kisses, but that's because this show isn't really a romance.  It's a satire, and a pretty decent one at that.  It's stuffed to the brim with kdrama cliches, but it winks at them just enough to get away with it.  I knew almost nothing about this show when I started to watch it, so the fact that it was simultaneously exactly like and yet strangely different from other dramas kind of threw me for a loop at first.  I wasn't always sure how I felt about it, but for the most part, it was clever and fun.

In the second half of the show, the writers seemed to lose sight of the satire and bought into the melodramatic kdrama cliches a little too seriously.  To me, those moments were the weakest parts of the show. In fact, I think that this is one of the rare kdramas that might have worked better as a shorter recurring series, kind of like Vampire Prosecutor.  They basically split the drama in half in terms of the central conflict, anyway.  The first half dealt with the murder, and the second half switched to Mo Ga Bi and her crazy ability to seduce every single male on the planet. With two shorter shows instead of one long one, they could have included some more satire into the second part to give it better pacing without ruining the narrative buildup.

 Can someone please give an award to this woman for Least Convincing Maniacal Laughter Ever?  Because that was just painful to watch.

The drama's biggest strength, in contrast, was in the details.  Like Cha Woo Hee riding around the lab on a Segway.  Or the Oldboy references sprinkled throughout the homeless sequence.  Or the grandpa's toupee. It's all in the little things, ya know?

A word to the wise: Most of the time, I like to skip the previews at the end of each episode because I don't like to ruin the surprise.  For this series, it's worth it.  Each episode has an extra little scene at the end, and sometimes they reference these scenes in future episodes. 

The Leads

As I said, I knew almost nothing about this show before I watched it.  I actually chose it because Orion recommended it as an example of a capable female lead with a backbone and an unapologetic attitude.  Orion wasn't wrong.  I didn't exactly love Jung Ryeo Won in My Lovely Sam Soon (I know, she had cancer, but still.  I'm a monster.), but she killed it in History of a Salaryman.  Her character didn't take crap from anyone, and when everyone underestimated her (including the male lead), she used their lack of faith to her advantage.  I love that.  She was ridiculous and selfish and mean, and yet she didn't cross over into becoming cartoonish, which can sometimes happen with these kinds of female characters (*cough*My Fair Lady*cough*).

She also gets 50,000,000 points for having the best English I've ever heard on a kdrama. By far.

Even though she became softer and more human as the series progressed, I also appreciate that they didn't completely snuff out her personality. I sometimes get tired of heroines whose only apparent faults are a lack of fashion sense or being too shy.  Baek Yeo Chi wasn't a perfect person by any stretch of the imagination, but her nasty temper and her penchant for swearing only made me like her more.

I wasn't quite as sold on Lee Bum Soo as Yoo Bang.  Correction: Lee Bum Soo played the part just how it was meant to be.  It was Yoo Bang in general that got on my nerves a bit.  He's a great person and all, but his laugh drives me a teensy bit crazy.  He seems like the kind of guy who you don't want to invite to dinner parties because he takes every joke just a little too far.

Maybe that's why the romance between these leads took a back seat to the rest of the story.  For a while, it felt like the plot might have worked better if the four primary leads swapped their love interests.  Yoo Bang really understood Woo Hee in a way that Hang Woo didn't (more on that in a bit), and a Baek Yeo Chi/Hang Woo romance would have been hilarious to watch.  That being said, I'm actually glad that things worked out the way they did.  It was nice to see Baek Yeo Chi and Yoo Bang flirting and hugging without the awkwardness that you often see in kdramas.  At some point, their friendship turned into romance, and I strangely didn't feel all that disappointed that we missed the big moment of confession because these two characters aren't the overly dramatic type, anyway.

That's not to say that this show was entirely devoid of romance.  The other end of our love square (Woo Hee and Hang Woo) was constantly building a romantic relationship through cute little scenes. Here's the problem, though: I can't help but wonder why on earth Woo Hee wants to date Hang Woo.  I mean, she's a smart, capable, attractive scientist.  Sure, Hang Woo is handsome and powerful and sometimes carries her home drunk (BUT ALSO SOMETIMES ROOFIES HER), but...he also has the personality of a dishrag.

There, I said it.

All Hang Woo did for 95% of the series was glare handsomely at the camera.  Seriously, if there were a drinking game about all of the situations where Hang Woo does nothing but glare, every viewer would be drunk enough to get a piggyback ride home by the end of episode 2.  Here's just a minor sampling:

Glaring on the phone

Glaring at a party

Glaring in the shower.  Yes, he has a mirror in his shower.  Is this a regular thing that I somehow don't know about, or did he have a mirror specially installed so that he could glare at himself?

More glaring in the shower, but with clothes on!

To make matters worse, Hang Woo and Woo Hee never have an actual meaningful conversation until AFTER he proposes marriage (which, I must say, was an even lazier proposal than the one in Secret Garden, and I'm glad that Woo Hee didn't entirely let him off the hook for it).  If you're keeping track, you'll notice that Hang Woo only pays attention to Woo Hee if less than 20% of her body is covered in clothing, if other men are ogling her, if she is so drunk that she's incapacitated, or some combination of the above factors.  To be fair, Woo Hee has her own share of faults and doesn't always let him get away with his games, but you have to wonder why she bothers in the first place.

And now a small piece of advice from Vivi's Dating Corner:

If a guy consistently acts like a total dirtbag and you see him not only trying to ruin your friends' lives but also doing things like smiling when little old ladies get dragged off by his hired thugs, THAT'S A DEALBREAKER.  And no, being nice for five minutes at the end of 22 episodes doesn't make up for it. 

Conclusions

I wouldn't necessarily recommend History of a Salaryman to the casual kdrama watcher.  It can be hard to catch some of the in-jokes if you aren't familiar with the culture.  At 22 episodes, it's on the longer end of comedy kdramas, and the payoff isn't there if you're primarily interested in romance.  If you're familiar with kdrama cliches and want to watch some witty writing and solid female characterization, then give it a shot!

Fashion Face-off Friday: Seasonal Fashion

It's official: fall is in the air.  I can tell because I suddenly have uncontrollable urges to eat ALL of the things made out of pumpkin and sip hot apple cider out of cute mugs.  And not that apple juice nonsense that my local grocery store tries to label as "cider," either.  I'm a New Englander at heart--I know real cider when I drink it!

The change in the seasons also means that I peek out of my window each morning, patiently waiting for the moment when I can reasonably get away with busting out my boots, scarves, and cardigans.  That's why I'm devoting this week's Fashion Face-off to seasonal clothing.  

Many kdramas cycle through a full range of seasonal outfits, so instead of going with normal, safe choices, I tried to choose outfits that were over-the-top in their celebration of the chosen season.  
     

Note: In case you're wondering, King 2 Hearts easily won our last face-off, with Richard Armitage swooping in as the dark horse to get second place.  I have to say that I applaud these results all around.

On to the new contenders!

Contender 1: Winter (Baek Yeo Chi, History of a Salaryman)

The advantage to cold weather is that you can layer on the accessories without feeling like you're boiling your innards for the sake of fashion.  The advantage to being immensely wealthy is that you can purchase as many accessories as your body can carry without hurting your bank account.  I like to think that the combination of weather and wealth is partly to blame for Baek Yeo Chi's winter ensemble.  The faux fur coat is a given considering that she's a rich lady in a Korean drama, but Yeo Chi went the extra mile with the leather wrist straps (?), bedazzled headband, and cheetah print purse.  Because if you're going to fake kill one animal for fashion, you should just go ahead and fake kill all of the animals.

Contender 2: Spring (Kim Ji Soo, Nail Shop Paris)

I wouldn't normally post a picture from behind like this because it feels objectifying and a little creepy, but I really needed to make it clear that Ji Soo is wearing peplum shorts here.  I didn't even know that was possible, but, as you can see, it is.  If this pastel/floral combo doesn't just scream "springtime!" to you, the fact that her butt looks like it is blossoming into a beautiful rose probably should.

Contender 3: Summer (Geum Jan Di, Boys over Flowers)

Jan Di's expression says it all.  When I think of summer, I think of vacation, and when I think of vacation, I think of the beach.  Nowhere in the history of resort wear is there an outfit that goes all in like Jan Di's does.  The patterned straw hat, the bright, flowing dress--it's all geared towards fun in the sun, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.  Someone on Pinterest once said that Jan Di's dress looks like a salad, and now that's all I can see when I look at her.  

Contender 4: Fall (Tae Gong Sil, The Master's Sun)

Walking around wearing a poncho and rain boots? Definitely a spring activity.  Walking around a cemetery in a poncho and rain boots?  Now we're suited for fall!  Halloween is my favorite holiday, and Gong Sil's ghostly poncho seems perfect for the occasion.

Which seasonal ensemble wins out?  Vote below!

Which Seasonal Outfit Was Best?
	Winter (History of a Salaryman)
	Spring (Nail Shop Paris)
	Summer (Boys over Flowers)
	Fall (The Master's Sun)
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